Pet loss – explaining it to children

Pets often become beloved members of the family, and when they die, the loss can be very traumatic. From guinea pigs, to cats, dogs, horses and everything in between, no matter what the animal, losing a beloved pet in never easy and it is only natural to grieve. When your child is attached to a pet that passes away, it’s important to recognize their feelings of loss and help them express those feelings.

©Jessica Death

Unfortunately, our pets don’t live as long as we do, so a child will usually experience the loss of a pet before reaching adulthood. It’s important to recognize the impact a pet can have on your child’s life and preparing your child for the loss is important for helping your child cope with grief when the time comes.

When a beloved pet dies or is euthanased, it’s important to recognize our feelings of bereavement and to express them. Families often have a pet for a number of years, so children grow up with the pet as part of the family.

If your child is particularly attached to a family pet, the loss can be very traumatic. Honesty is the best policy! Your child will want to understand what has happened, so you should explain the death to your child, using language appropriate for your child’s age; however, don’t say that the pet was “put to sleep” as this may make your child afraid of going to sleep.

Your child will need time to grieve and may want to memorialize their pet by making a scrapbook, having a memorial service, sharing funny memories, or frame a special picture; these will help your child focus on happy memories!

Understand that if your child is young, they possibly won’t feel the same as you do, children cope in different ways and they can be more upset by seeing their parents upset than the actual loss itself.

Your veterinarian will be able to help; it may even be helpful for your veterinarian to talk to your child too. You should let your child’s teachers at school know what has happened as they may start so show behavioral changes or signs of depression, in which case they may need to speak to a professional counsellor.

Lots of veterinary schools offer a pet-loss support hotline, you may have a local support group or could find a group on social media that can help you. There are also some good sources of information on pet loss on the internet too.